I menstruate..so what?
The day I got my period, I went with my mother for a trip to the department store. We grabbed the usual: milk, bread, my favourite chocolate, and something else. A pack of Disposable XL Sanitary Pads. It came in confident neon green packaging. As the cashier loaded all our items into a transparent bag, he covertly pulled out a black polythene bag- something I had never seen be used at this store before. He shoved the pack of pads into the dark bag and handed it to my mother who quickly grabbed it.
I was confused by the interaction at that age- why the black bag? Why not use a transparent bag like the one used for the other items? It was later, when I grew up more that I came to realise just why my pack of pads were given such special treatment.
It is no surprise that menstruation is steeped in taboo and stigma. Society treats menstruation and everything around it like a dirty secret. The signs of this were all around me when I was growing up- being taught to shove my pad in between pages of a notebook and going to the washroom, mumbling under my breath to my teacher, “I have an emergency” to be excused from class immediately, pads in black bags. It was no secret that periods were meant to be a secret. Even at home, I was taught to ensure the male members in my family never caught a sight of my menstrual products. They were always stashed away in a location that only my mother and I were aware of. My friends and I made a code word for periods- ‘red ink’ to talk about it in public.
As I grew up, I came to resent more and more how covert we were taught to be about our periods. If everybody in my eleventh grade class already knows about the process of menstruation- why the secrecy? Why can’t I carry my pad to the bathroom without having to shove it deep into my pocket as if someone even catching a glimpse of it will be a huge cover blown? It is about nothing more than the shame we surround menstruation with. All of these little things I was taught to do gave me the impression that periods were to be approached with discomfort.
The effect of this conditioning on me was prominent. I would feel uncomfortable discussing my periods with a doctor, a friend or even my mother. I almost felt ‘bad’ for having periods.It harboured within me a certain discomfort with my body. With PMS came painful cramps that I was never allowed to talk about. It all felt very unfair. Slowly, a sense of resentment of how we look at menstruation crept over me.
Some people argue and say that, at least in school, we hide our pads just to not bring attention or make others feel ‘weird’ about us having our periods. But I say- why should they? Since it is a natural process of life and a phenomena more or less 50% of the world’s population experiences, why not begin by treating it as simply normal? No hiding,no code words, and certainly no black bags.
When you look at concrete data, our society’s lack of awareness about menstruation is heartbreaking. A 2014 report by the NGO Dasra found that nearly 23 million girls drop out of school annually due to ‘lack of proper menstrual hygiene facilities and logical awareness of menstruation.’ Our shame is internalised so much so that the study found that 70 percent of mothers with menstruating daughters considered menstruation ‘dirty.’ If we have been led to believe our whole lives that this natural phenomena is tainted, how do we break the cycle?
Acknowledging that I am in a relatively more progressive environment than some of the other people in this country who menstruate, I started small. Rather than shoving my pad deep into my pocket, I simply carried it in my hand on my way to the bathroom. I started putting my pads with the rest of my commodities in the transparent tote bag that I’ve always used for shopping. I wasn’t trying to make a ‘bold statement.’ I was simply treating my pads as what they were- like any other commodity that I used.
It made me feel better about myself. It was healthier for me to be more open about my cramps and my need for rest during my period. Along with feeling liberated, I felt a sense of relief- as if the huge weight of the secret that is menstruation was lifted from my shoulders. By talking about menstruation with my friends and family, I felt more comfortable with my body. That ‘dirty’ feeling that came with menstruating previously was the product of shame perpetuated by the patriarchy. Once I taught myself to be comfortable, that feeling went away for good.
We have a long way to go in dismantling our society’s discomfort with menstruation. I realise that I am more privileged than other people in this country who are subject to extremely discriminatory treatment in their homes, workplaces and schools simply because they menstruate. We should all try our best to uncover their internalised shame to the best of our abilities as well as misconceptions held by those around them about menstruation. For me, the simple act of holding a pad in front of a male friend was spectacularly liberating. I menstruate- so what?
About the author:
Priyanshi is a changemaker fellow with Rangeen Khidki Foundation and is based out of Delhi. She enjoys writing and learning new things. This is one of her attempt to write about her experience with menstruation and how it has transformed her over the years.
